Sometimes

This summer has been an interesting venture. Navigating life is not easy, not even for the most chill person. And since I am anything BUT the most chill person, navigating life seems increasingly difficult for me. 

Side note: I thought age brought wisdom…guess not.

My theme for this summer has been all about finding balance or as I like to label it: 

finding the space between

…that space between perfection and total disarray; that space between all or nothing; that space between love and hate (or anger or betrayal); that space between loving others and being taken advantage of; that space between satisfaction and disappointment. 

Most folks know that I recently went through a breakup. And in case anyone is wondering (they aren’t), breakups SUCK. A big one. Yet, they are inevitable. Rejection is a fact of life — a harsh fact, but a fact nonetheless.

…which leads me to my next question (in keeping with that theme of “the space between”)… 

How does one find the space between constant thoughts of an ex (feelings of anger, sadness, absence, loss, etc.) and no thoughts at all (or even worse, denial)? How does one move forward with a sense of contentment, or at the very least, a sense of calmness within the soul? 

I was asking myself these questions while listening to the Ben Rector Pandora station at the pool this afternoon. “Sometimes” (a new song of Rector’s) played. I was instantly intrigued by the lyrics, especially the chorus… 

Sometimes, I just wonder what 

It would’ve been like, if you were with me

Don’t worry your mind, I’m not crying at night

I just think of you sometimes

Sometimes, yeah

So, do I have a solid, idiot-proof, how-to guide answer for my question? 

I can’t say for certain, but perhaps the space between is found in those “sometimes” moments. Perhaps, with each day that passes, we loosen our grip on our “what once was” and stand a little taller on our own two feet. And maybe, just maybe, one day we will “just think of you sometimes.”