Why Doesn't Everyone Like Cake?!

I read an article recently on the topic of rejection. I was reading and reading and reading and while it was all accurate information, none of it was anything I didn’t already know. …until I read this:

“But it’s not always the glorified feeling of heartbreak that tears us down the most; it’s the feeling that even though you gave your best to someone, it wasn’t good enough.

Well this is a message to everyone and I hope that whatever you do, you don’t forget this:You could be the richest, most delicious, and the most sought-after piece of cake in the world, and there will still be someone who doesn’t like cake."

I went about my day with that excerpt engrained in my head. It hit so close to home that I almost wished I hadn’t read it.

It’s true when Hushka (the writer) describes heartbreak as a “glorified feeling.” Sure, heartbreak is no piece of cake (see what I did there?), but there IS something “glorious” about it, as strange as that may sound.

As a society, we tend to romanticize heartbreak; we dramatize heartbreak. We watch movies about heartbreak; we listen to songs about heartbreak; we read books about heartbreak. Many times, heartbreak ignites empowerment, self-discovery, forces us into unchartered territory. When someone claims to have been a victim of heartbreak, we naturally go running to comfort them. We shower them with support, compliments, reassurance, and even gifts, etc. 

It’s similar to the first few days following a death. People are everywhere – cleaning, cooking, preparing, etc. People are there to surround us; to support us; to protect us. And because of this, we do not quite understand the depth of our pain, our grief. 

But what happens when those days are over? What happens when everyone goes back to their normal lives? What happens when people grow tired of hearing your heartbreak story over and over? 

Once the “glorious” stage of heartbreak wears off, we find ourselves alone, confused, and downright miserable. There is an unrelenting dark cloud that looms overhead. 

So, perhaps heartbreak is simply a mask, a mask that hides the truth as to why rejection cuts so deep. 

And that truth? 

…that we did our best; we tried our best; we gave our best, but our best wasn’t enough. Ouch. That stings.  

How does one navigate this truth without being flooded with endless amounts of self-doubt? It’s seemingly impossible, right?

Why wasn’t “it” enough?

Better yet… Why wasn’t I enough?

Will I ever be enough?

What is enough? 

…and the big one…

Why her and not me?

At times, I seem to find myself playing the role of Julianna Potter (Julia Roberts) in My Best Friend’s Wedding, standing in front of someone saying, “Pick me. Choose me. Let me make you happy.” Yet, still the answer is no. 

WHY? 

The harsh truth is: no matter how hard we try, sometimes our best won’t be enough because some people just aren’t meant for us (even if we so desperately long for them to be), just like some people won’t like cake, no matter what kind (weird, I know).

It’s a hard pill to swallow, indeed. Especially when we truly love these people. We all want to give love and be loved in return, making rejection all the more painful.

So… to all the girls who seem to fall for the unattainable, I feel you. You are not alone. Not even close. 

I know how it feels to hide behind a smile and a high-pitched “I’m fine.” I know how it feels to spend an extra 30 minutes on your hair in the morning, hoping he will notice. I know how it feels to wonder if he thinks of you as often as you think of him, or even at all (real talk: if you have to wonder if he’s thinking about you, he probably isn’t). I know how it feels to spend far too long in the greeting card section of Target looking for THE perfect card (because he deserves the best of anything, right?).  

I know how it feels to try and try and try and still fall short. 

I also know that most things don’t last forever, including these dark periods of rejection. There will come a day when he no longer crosses your mind. Until then, relish in the good days; cling to those who love and support you; and when in doubt, channel your inner Liz Taylor and “pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.”